On came the hanging harness for the last time. Pete McRoberts has been great helping me get into it each night. He was my trusted hangman and that is why I always felt safe, knowing he was there on the end of the rope. I was only slightly disturbed when I heard he had a hangman's hood on when he did it! :-o
"The Last Supper" was just great. All the apostles have been fantastic - such a great group of guys and all with such amazing voices. The harmony on "pool of wine" really sent shivers down my spine every time. Our argument was very emotional for me this time - I could feel myself really letting go and losing control - I ran off stage and straight up to the dressing room. normally I would stay there, but I had to hear Pete tonight so I headed straight back down to the wings.
"Gethsemane" was just breathtaking. By the middle of the song tears were streaming down my face. I think there were quite a few others in the same state as well. When Pete hits those high notes...it just shook me to the core. This guy deserves every bit of praise that has been heaped upon him. A voice like that should be out thrilling audiences every night. Rapturous applause for Pete on Saturday and rightly so.
On I come for "The Arrest", having hastily wiped the tears from my eyes. "There he is, they're all asleep, the fools" then Pete turns round, and I betray him for the last time, again collapsing into his arms, but this time crying real tears.
Off I go and try to compose myself in the dressing room, although I only really succeed in making things worse. I had wanted to see "Pilate and Christ" and "Herod's Song" as I'd not seen either of them all the way through, but I was crying that much that I missed them. I did hear them over the PA, however, and they sounded fantastic. Steve's voice has come back totally and he did it so well. I have to mention the dancing girls as well...although I never really ot to see their performance, I know from the dress rehearsal that they were really great and such a perfect accompaniment to Steve's super-camp Herod.
I just managed to get myself sorted in time for "Could we start again please?". Well, that set me off again. As I've said before, this is my kids' favourite, Joseph especially, and all I could think of was them. I just stood in the wings stage-right and wept buckets. The words to this song are so moving and Tom and Caroline sing it so fantastically. I just felt crushed, totally crushed.
So, by the time I have to come running on for "Judas' Death" I was in a right state, thankfully this only added to my performance. Fighting back the worst of my tears, I did my best to sing my opening lines "My god, I saw him...", but then let it all go on "Christ I know you can't hear me...". No acting required this time...I was sobbing the lines, eyes and nose running like a child. And when I saw the noose...god...i was in another place totally...I couldn't have given a different performance as I was just doing it for real. I didn't want to put the rope round my neck, as I knew this would be the last time I did it. But then I knew I had to, nothing could stop me. My only concern was how to stop crying when I died? But die I did, and pretty spectacularly. I swung quite a way forward and back, enough so my face was briefly lit by the lights. Lisa said this was really scary, seeing my face.
As I came down, I had to focus...I wanted to sit and cry my heart out, but that would have to come later. I had to drag myself up again for "Superstar". This has always been so hard for me to do, and never any harder than that night.
On came the suit for the last time. Although most people are agreed that it wasn't really the right costume given the context of the show, I'm kind of going to miss it really. It always felt strange having spent the rest of the show being so miserable, to don that suit meant I could be happy and jump and dance about the stage. Anyway, the song went so well. I tried to give it all I could in terms of hips and pelvis(!). Instead of discarding my cape, I pulled my zip half-way down this time...a little bit of naughty Judas for the last night I thought! Huge applause, which was really nice, and then off.
After a quick hug from the soul girls, I took of my mic and stayed in the wings. I had to be there at the end - I just couldn't bring myself to move. So I stood stage-left where I could just see Pete's head at the top of the auditorium, covered in blood, wearing the crown of thorns. I put my head on the side of the stage and I cried. I cried for Pete on the cross, I cried for me, for having achieved my dream, for my family, for giving them what I had wanted to - a reason to be really proud of me, I cried for the last 7 months and for the future. I could feel a hug approaching - it was Emma, down on her knees giving me a hug through the hand-rail. She was inconsolable too. I trudged back to the changing room and carried on where I had left off. I was on my own, so I just let it all go and tried to settle myself down again.
I got dressed quickly and went out towards the bar. I couldn't help but stop for a moment as a drew level with Pete on the cross. I just had to pause and look at him for a moment, lost in confusing emotions. More tears. The bar was full of people - really busy. All I wanted to do was get to Lisa and cry in her arms. But there were so many people there, all congratulating me, which was really lovely - everyone's been soo good to be. But all I needed was a hug. I eventually got one, all too short, but it helped. I was just in a daze. My parents and my sister and her husband were there, as well as loads of friends. They all thought it was fantastic. I couldn't really take everything in.
And so it was finished. Time to clear the dressing rooms, hand back the scores, give in the costumes and strike the set. Time to wearily leave the stage behind and head back to reality. Time to leave the dreamworld we have lived in for the last week and re-connect with our families. A time to stop and think for some of us. What does the future hold? Who knows. There is such talent in this society, and everyone has been amazing. When I joined, I only knew a small handful of people, but now I feel I can call another 60 people my friend.
This isn't the last you will hear of me on this website. I will write more (a bit about the striking of the set, the party and the aftermath) but that will have to wait. It's taken me long enough to write this. But at this point I just want to say thanks you to everyone involved in the show. You know it has been my dream to play this part and you have all contributed to helping make that dream come true. I am truly proud to have taken part in this production and I hope everyone has enjoyed it as much as I have.
Please, everyone, keep in touch.
Richard
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6 comments:
WOH that was rather emotional, I had the tears building up for a while! It has been fantastic working with you-you deserve all the praise you get - you and ALL the cast, everyone of you kick ass! So you have achieved you dream and achieved it with style and ofcourse a website! I will continue to bombard you with emails but no more statues of yourself beacuse, really, how would you get them :S my email is groovy_138@hotmail.com *cough* (I was 12 when I created that! Honest) Hope to hear from you...Love Martha x x x
Thanks Martha, it's really been fun.
hey richard, i also had the tears building up its all so emotional! its so weird to think we wont perform it again and i find my self walkin around college belting out songs from the show!! haha, glad u mentioned mine and the lovely martha's creation..eventually. lol really think u should considered doing 42nd u know u want 2!! lol will probably post again soon! love fran xxx
Richard,
It's going to take me a while to come down to earth. Now, i will have to think more about my redundancy in two weeks time!. What an experience we have had and indeed felt this last week, and run up to this fantastic show. As i tried to blubber out on Friday night, the early seventies took me to London on many occasions as my brother lived there. Each time i visited Steve we went and saw JCS. It did something to me, in a strange kind of way. You do pray and hope that one day you will be able to be involved in something you have great feelings for. Like you it has happened! For me, i can't yet find the words to describe what journey we have all been through together. It most certainly has been a team effort from first rehearsal to final show. Everyone has worked so hard to pull this off, and that's what we have done. I did see the show every night, proberbly the best seat, or should i say standing position in the Auditorium. It was awesome. The band, not "nice little orchestra" were fantasatic and really played their hearts out. Not an easy score in any way shape or form. The performances by everyone on stage were truly amazing. Let me tell you, as a conductor i have never found anything so hard as to keep going through John19:41 Standing in front of that scene was emotionally draining. I could not look at the music, only up at the cross. Most nights i couldn't see it for tears.
Sorry about that, starting to blubber again!......
I will of course send you the words of my JCS megga mix. I will have to type them out first as they are on my musical score. I also have lots of photo's and video clips too. Give me a little time and i'll sort it out. It has been great fun reading your site, it leaves us a bit of history on a remarkable show and event in our lives.
Think i'll post this note on your site, just to prove that i've been there!!
All the best
Keith
That would be Shaun Tilley. Let me know if u want his address.
Hi all,
I'm glad it's not just me who feels lost and has the songs from JCS 'buzzing' round my head!
Wow, what a show, what marvelous people involved in it, I haven't experienced anything else like it in my life! This is the first production I have been involved in for about 15 years and I was a little bit nervous to say the least. But I needn't have been. The whole society are wonderful and because of your friendliness I quickly felt at ease. I heard that someone had commented after one of the shows that it was obvious that we all worked really well together as a team. I think that comment has hit the nail on the head. If we hadn't have worked so well together we couldn't have experienced this massive achievement, the comments on this website really say it all to prove this point.I loved all of the show but I think the aspects I will remember the most are:
1, Hearing Richard singing the line "It's all gone sour" with such energy before we went on for 'What's the Buzz?'
2, Also waiting in the wings, before "Peter's Denial" listeneing to "The Last Supper" and then "Gethsemane" both of those songs sent shivers down my spine and made all the hairs on my arms & neck stand up on end. At the same time though they both kind of prepared me for my little bit shortly after.
3,"Could we try again please?" Caroline & Tom's voices are wonderful and hearing them sing together, again sent shivers down my spine.
4, The Hanging - Sectacular or what? I actually couldn't watch Richard hanging himself during the show. I had seen it the first time he did it in rehearsal and thought it was great. It's funny that I couldn't bring myself to watch it after that because I'm not usually bothered about gory stuff. I'd stand in the wings with my back to the stage and could only turn round after the loud crash.
5, Jesus Christ Superstar! Everyone singing in the wings & Keith blowing kisses at us all. Thanks Keith!
6, Of course, The Crucifixion. I couldn't watch it the last two nights - too emotional & that's all I'll say about that.
I could go on all night but won't. I'd just like to finish by thanking everyone invoved. It has been such an honour & privilege.
See you all soon
From a slightly drunk & emotional Maid by the Fire.
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